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Each batch is hand-roasted, flavor-optimized, and packaged in a recyclable can that's far more tasteful than your last kitchen remodel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003ePairs well with espresso machines you don’t fully understand, brunch debates about grind size, and that one friend who still says \"expresso.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eIf you don’t love it, it’s probably because your grinder is a crime against humanity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"main-product-variants\" class=\"product-variants sqs-site-style-form\" data-animation-role=\"content\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-inner-wrapper\"\u003e\u003cform class=\"react-form-contents\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"field-list\"\u003e\u003cfieldset class=\"variant-option form-item radio\" data-variant-option-name=\"Whole Bean or Grind Type\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"variant-option-title\"\u003eWhole Bean\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/fieldset\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/form\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47805663346942,"sku":"020238785609","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"hints-of-hubris-light-med-roast","title":"Hints of Hubris - Light\/Med Roast (8 oz)","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description hidden-down-md\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eThis light\/medium roast tastes like philosophical fruit salad served on a reclaimed teak platter of your own insecurity. Ethically sourced from farms you’re too lazy to research, these beans deliver complex notes of citrus, doubt, florals, and self-importance… perfectly balanced for those who think they know what balance means. \u003cstrong\u003eThis is a blend of two beans. The first is grown in Nicaragua’s Segovia mountains. The second is from a women owned and led cooperative in Peru.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eRoasted just enough to unlock flavor, but not so much that it screams “look at me,” this blend pairs well with distressed leather journals, failed startups, and overpriced pour-over gear you don’t actually know how to use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eWe hand-select our beans, obsessively roast them in small batches, and package them in a recyclable can that says “I care about the planet… just not enough to skip espresso.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eIf this coffee isn’t the best you’ve ever had, you probably brewed it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"main-product-variants\" class=\"product-variants sqs-site-style-form\" data-animation-role=\"content\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-inner-wrapper\"\u003e\u003cform class=\"react-form-contents\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"field-list\"\u003e\u003cfieldset class=\"variant-option form-item radio\" data-variant-option-name=\"Whole Bean or Grind Type\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"variant-option-title\"\u003eWhole Bean\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/fieldset\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/form\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47805682123006,"sku":"020237603218","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"single-origin-arrogance-light-med-roast","title":"Single Origin Arrogance - Light\/Med Roast (8 oz)","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description hidden-down-md\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eThis light\/medium roast tastes like red apple, toasted almond, and the quiet confidence of knowing your beans have a passport stamp. Harvested from a single region (because blending is for the indecisive), this roast is bright, clean, and deeply committed to its own narrative.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe rotate our beans for this roast, always chasing the same flavors ridiculous quality. Currently we are using a bean grown high in Nicaragua’s Segovia mountains where slower-growing coffee cherries create denser beans and brighter, more refined flavor.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eExpect balanced acidity, a touch of sweetness, and just enough complexity to spark a lengthy monologue about elevation and soil composition at your next brunch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eEach batch is roasted to showcase the terroir—a word we use so you know we’re serious—and packaged in our signature can so your kitchen can look as curated as your coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eIt’s not just single origin. It’s Single Origin Arrogance. And yes, the name is both a warning and a compliment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"main-product-variants\" class=\"product-variants sqs-site-style-form\" data-animation-role=\"content\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-inner-wrapper\"\u003e\u003cform class=\"react-form-contents\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"field-list\"\u003e\u003cfieldset class=\"variant-option form-item radio\" data-variant-option-name=\"Whole Bean or Grind Type\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"variant-option-title\"\u003eWhole Bean\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/fieldset\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/form\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47805682745598,"sku":"169492587229","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"gilded-decadence-medium-dark-roast","title":"Gilded Decadence - Medium\/Dark Roast (8 oz)","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"product-description hidden-down-md\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLimited reserve roast\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eThis medium-dark roast is for coffee elitists only (and those auditioning for the role). Flavor notes are rich chocolate, brown sugar, toasted hazelnut, and the unshakable certainty that you’ve made better choices than most people today. It’s rich, smooth, and indulgently layered… the kind of coffee that slows your sip and raises an eyebrow at lesser brews. This is a blend of three exceptional beans from South and Central America.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eWe roast each batch with the sort of obsessive precision usually reserved for watchmakers and mildly unhinged artisans, so you can casually mention “depth” and “development” without explaining either. The result? A coffee so decadent it practically expects applause.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003ePairs well with unsolicited tasting notes, slow deliberate pours, and the subtle glow of superiority earned by drinking something objectively better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-rte-preserve-empty=\"true\"\u003eIf it doesn’t become your favorite coffee, that’s fine… not everyone was meant for gold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"main-product-variants\" class=\"product-variants sqs-site-style-form\" data-animation-role=\"content\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-wrapper\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"form-inner-wrapper\"\u003e\u003cform class=\"react-form-contents\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"field-list\"\u003e\u003cfieldset class=\"variant-option form-item radio\" data-variant-option-name=\"Whole Bean or Grind Type\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"variant-option-title\"\u003eWhole Bean\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/fieldset\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/form\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Pretentious Coffee","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47805684416766,"sku":"020239127880","price":14.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}]},{"product_id":"azalea-carolina-coffee","title":"Azalea Blend 16 oz Carolina Coffee","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"44\" data-end=\"352\"\u003eInspired by the beauty of coastal Carolina blooms, Azalea Blend from \u003cspan class=\"hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"whitespace-normal\"\u003eCarolina Coffee Company\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e is a smooth, approachable cup crafted for everyday enjoyment. This well-balanced coffee offers a mellow body with gentle brightness, making it as easy to drink in the morning as it is in the afternoon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"354\" data-end=\"639\"\u003eExpect soft notes of toasted nuts, light cocoa, and a subtle floral sweetness that lingers on the finish—never overpowering, just clean and comforting. Roasted to highlight its natural character, Azalea Blend is perfect for drip coffee, pour-over, or your favorite home brewing method.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"641\" data-end=\"734\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eA true crowd-pleaser, this blend captures the warmth and charm of the Carolinas in every sip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e16 oz","brand":"Carolina Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48084644659454,"sku":"187770906821","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0029\/0806\/1760\/files\/b5f3f040-b588-49d5-a162-8ba26f751b2c.jpg?v=1776715794"},{"product_id":"azalea-blend-1-2-lb-carolina-coffee-company","title":"Azalea Blend 1\/2 lb. Carolina Coffee Company","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"42\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"42\"\u003eAzalea Blend – Carolina Coffee Company\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"44\" data-end=\"352\"\u003eInspired by the beauty of coastal Carolina blooms, Azalea Blend from \u003cspan class=\"hover:entity-accent entity-underline inline cursor-pointer align-baseline\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"whitespace-normal\"\u003eCarolina Coffee Company\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e is a smooth, approachable cup crafted for everyday enjoyment. This well-balanced coffee offers a mellow body with gentle brightness, making it as easy to drink in the morning as it is in the afternoon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"354\" data-end=\"639\"\u003eExpect soft notes of toasted nuts, light cocoa, and a subtle floral sweetness that lingers on the finish—never overpowering, just clean and comforting. Roasted to highlight its natural character, Azalea Blend is perfect for drip coffee, pour-over, or your favorite home brewing method.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"641\" data-end=\"734\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003eA true crowd-pleaser, this blend captures the warmth and charm of the Carolinas in every sip.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Carolina Coffee Company","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48094706499838,"sku":"014143737365","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0029\/0806\/1760\/files\/5886afb7-7ac2-44e4-b357-47696679d24a.jpg?v=1776715442"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0029\/0806\/1760\/collections\/12987.jpg?v=1576329313","url":"https:\/\/thiseasonedgourmet.com\/collections\/coffee.oembed","provider":"The Seasoned Gourmet","version":"1.0","type":"link"}